Poems & Limericks

Martin - The Poet

 

The night before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas, the band wasn't there
'Cos the calendar said that they were gigging "nowhere"
What a nightmare for Heather to sort and arrange
But a flight to nowhere? Well, it sounds rather strange!
With no luggage in Amsterdam - that's nothing new
No guitars, no keyboards, no rider, no crew
We'll have to make plans for this evening ourselves
Or perhaps be tour managed by Santa and elves
So who will alert us and let us know when
To gradually wander, meander and then
Begin to prepare for an evening of fun?
But we cannot leave yet, since we're still missing one
It's the waiting that kills you, the job is a breeze
After twelve hours of travel we're all on our knees
Then it's time to unwind and prepare to perform
When relaxing, for most, would be clearly the norm
Where to stay? - should we phone up N.O.W. Music and ask?
But there's no-one to talk to or handle the task
The office is empty, the staff are away
Is it Monday or Friday? - no, just holiday
But, a day off for us, could this be a mistake?
Though we're clearly in need of a sizeable break
And some time in our homes, maybe more than a day
And the thought that, for now, we do not need to play
So we'll forget the backdrops, the smoke and the noise
And the website reports that still call us all "boys"
And we'll let someone else play the music instead
Then let's drink ourselves silly and fall into bed

 


Ode To A Much Needed Break 


Although the year is nearly done
We really haven’t had much fun
With work that takes up so much space
We barely notice our own place
So many months of total stress
Our nerves are in an awful mess
Weeks of toil without a break
A holiday is what we’ll take
Seychelles? Or is it The Maldives?
(They say it’s sunny in St Ives)
We’d have a journey either way
It’s far more tempting here to stay
We’ll only go out as we feel
To travel just has no appeal
No luggage, flights or queues to bear
We’d rather not go anywhere
Of all the places that we saw
We chose one where we’d been before
No need to phone when we arrive
Our chosen site is where we live
We’ve swapped a hot vicinity
For peace and mere serenity
To ease away the aches and pains
So we may find ourselves again
We have such wonders here for free
Which others pay so much to see
For once we may enjoy the view
And not look out for things to do
No travel brochures we require
We have sufficient to inspire
With no alarms to halt our sleep
We’ve no appointments we must keep
No kids, no dogs, no ringing phone
At last it seems that we’re alone
To while away a lazy week
And not for entertainment seek
In place of sun and seaside walk
We might sit down and play or talk
Or simply read but mainly try
To let the outside world go by
We’ve no desire to take the car
Or even venture very far
Perhaps a walk around these grounds
To listen to its natural sounds
And when our holiday is done
(We didn’t really see much sun)
We will return with little fuss
With photos that portray just “us”
No search for where we left our car
No journey home that’s much too far
No case of dirty underwear
It’s easy – we’re already there!

 

 


We travelled quite far to the east

It took all of a day at least

But who can complain

When there's so much to gain

Such as sunshine, a gig and a feast?  


The Danes seem to have it in mind

To throw concerts so they may “unwind”

And although Aabenraa

Might seem really quite far

It’s a place we could easily find

 


There’s one place we never had been

To get there we all were quite keen

Though the journey was slow

We were destined to go

To perform there in Caherciveen  

(pronounced care-sa-veen)


We didn’t need sun, sea and sand

Just a steamy and hot Legoland

And the crowd we did please

After burning our knees

What a shame the fans can’t cool the band!  

 

 


 It could never be said we’re above

Singing songs about romance and love

Though a cool Danish twang

Might improve on our slang

We’re hard pressed to pronounce the word Horve

 

 

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